Reclaiming Me

A year ago, when the world stopped and we were all shuttered inside, I regained all my time. A lot of that time I spent in grief. Grief over losing all that we all knew as the human experience, the ongoing violence against my Black and Brown sisters and brothers, an ever divided populace with no clear path on how to heal. Mostly, I spent the slower time to grieve the loss of my mother. It consumed most of me.

As the minutes and months wore on, I began to notice something happening. I started getting noisy again. I started getting angry for all the injustices that lay strewn about me and within me. And then I started not being ok with any of it. So I fought. I fought for those who couldn’t and against those who spewed hate and anger. I fought for my rightful place in this world as a brown-skinned woman with my own lived experiences. And I got loud.

I don’t know if my unleashing was a result of me no longer having the comfort and crutch of my mother’s lap. Or maybe in her absence, I wanted to make sure I lived into the woman she helped shape me to be. In any case, when the world stopped spinning, while the insanity continued outside, in the stillness of our home sanctuary, I reclaimed me - strong, resilient, noisy. I’m so happy to know you as I am. I am Shaheen Sheik.