I’m back on the shores of Hawaii after nearly 7 years. Under completely different circumstances. Whereas last time I was still running after myself trying to find out just where I wanted to stand still, today running anywhere is a non-negotiable. Above all, I’m a mother now and with that comes a rooting and grounding that although many women, including myself, ache for, once it arrives, it takes some getting used to. But here I am. Rooted. Grounded. Used to the steadiness. An exercise of extreme surrender really. And suddenly all of life has snapped into perspective.
What used to seem the source of all anxiety and angst is now simply childhood folly. Not to diminish that time in my life. It was necessary to experience and to experiment, to try on and test out. But ultimately, I believe we all land where our deepest desires take us – sometimes despite ourselves.
I’m here on the shores of Kauai. I hear waves crashing. I see the white tips of the surf. I watch surfers in awe. I hear my daughter shriek with joy as the spirited ocean pushes up against her tiny frame. And I think to myself, there is no bigger joy than to watch your child discover the world.
When you slow down and take a deep breath, you can hear yourself and your child and know in the deepest part of you that you are right where you are supposed to be. That life continues to unfold ever so gently to take you closer and closer to your heart. If you’re lucky, you allow for the process to happen, shedding what is no longer necessary and accepting the new, more aligned gifts in your life.
A friend recently wrote to me saying, “glad to see you are still seeking out your dreams.” I’ve come to believe that we all are. All the time. The evolution of what those dreams are delight and frustrate as the mind lets go and the heart blossoms.